The Bald Brothers
Mediocre Melodies

Music: Welcome

Listen to our mediocre melodies here!

On a computer, all songs are listed. On a mobile device, just swipe LEFT to scroll through the various songs.

{You can listen to Bald Brothers songs morning, noon or night! Although some people say they are best listened to low & far away... You can also listen before bed, but some people say they sound better if you listen while sleeping...}

To download the songs, go to ReverbNation.com/thebaldbrothers2

Music: HTML Embed

Our Original Tunes

Click on each song for lyrics:

Music: Text

Jealous

I shaved a man’s head the other day

If you ask me why, I'd have to say

I was jealous… Jealous

He had so much hair, what does he need it for

I have none, I could use some more

I was jealous… Jealous

Now Jealousy is not a good thing

But I was sitting there and he was flashin' his mane

I was jealous… Jealous

You’d probably be just as jealous as me

To someone flaunting assets follicly

For anyone who says that I’m insane

Try living the bald life... just for a day

You'd be Jealous

He has so much hair, what does he use it for

He was flippin’ his curls when he entered the door

I was jealous… Jealous

When I had hair, I just combed it down

I never made a scene, kept on the low down

I'm Jealous… Jealous and disgusted

I have nothing against the follicly endowed

Unless they arrogantly expose their hairy crowns

Then I’m jealous… Jealous and vengeful

You’d probably be just as jealous as me

To someone flaunting assets follicly

For anyone who says that I’m insane

Try living the bald life... just for a day

You'd be Jealous

So, I shaved a man’s hair the other day

I ran very fast and I got away

Jealous… Jealous

Now if you see me on the street

'm warning you, keep your hair outta my face

Or there’ll be Trouble… Trouble… Buzzzzz

If the police ever catch me, I’ll just say:

“It Wasn't Me, it was the Other Bald Guy!”

Cause I'll bet he's also Jealous

Jealous... Jealous... Jealous...

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Music: Text

Bob Left the Bald Brothers

Bob Left the Bald Brothers (Because His Hair Grew Back)

Well, we’re the Bald Brothers... there’s only two

 Used to be three Bald Brothers... here’s a story for you

Well, Bob was the third Bald Brother, he even sang better than us

He hit all the notes; we used to do some nice three-part harmonies together

Yeah, Bob was another Bald Brother

But we kicked Bob out of the Bald Brothers, when his hair started growing back!

Yeah, we kicked Bob out of the Bald Brothers, when his hair started growing back!

You see, Bob, he wasn’t happy being bald... so he went to the doctor

He said “Doctor, how can I get rid of this baldness?”

And the doctor said, “Why don’t you try this hair tonic stuff?”

It seemed to work on Bob; so Bob got some thick hair

He came to Practice, and we said “You can’t be a Bald Brother, if your hair came back!”

So, we kicked Bob out of the Bald Brothers, when his hair was growin' back

Now there’s just two Bald Brothers, mediocre as can be

Sometimes we don’t hit all the notes; and we can’t do three-part harmony

But, we have our standards, not just anybody can join us

You gotta be bald as a melon to be in this band

So, if you think you’re gonna grow your hair back; we won’t tolerate that

Well, Bob was one of the Bald Brothers, but we kicked him out of the band,

Well, we kicked Bob out of the Bald Brothers, when his hair started growing back!

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Music: Text

Follicly Challenged

Why was I born with so much hair

It's a dirty trick the gods played on me

Why was I born with so much hair

The hairiest baby in the nursery

Had my first haircut when I was three

I had more hair than the barber'd ever seen

When I was thirteen at my junior prom

My date was envious, her hair was not as long

From overly hairy to follicly challenged

I went from hope to despair

From overly hairy to follicly challenged

Sometimes life doesn't seem fair

Why was I born with so much hair

It's a dirty trick the gods played on me

I was in college, trying to date a lot

I needed my hair but then it was not

When I got married and had my own kids

My hair started falling out faster than it ever did

Now I'm an old bald man at sixty three

I've had a good life except follicly

From overly hairy to follicly challenged

I went from hope to despair

From overly hairy to follicly challenged

Sometimes life doesn't seem fair

From overly hairy to follicly challenged

I went from hope to despair

From overly hairy to follicly challenged

Sometimes life doesn't seem fair

Sometimes life just isn't fair

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Music: Text

Deal with the Devil

Made a Deal with the Devil

Made a deal with the Devil

I'm not proud but it's true

Cause I was bald as a melon

And he promised hair back full

He said all that he wanted was

My soul when life was through

I never needed my soul before

So why should I worry?

There's no need to worry!

Made a deal with the Devil

And now I sure regret it

Made a deal with the Devil

How I wish that he'd forget it

Thought it was what I wanted

But it's not what I wanted

I never needed hair before

Please just take it all away

Take all my hair, take it away

This hair is not so great

It keeps on getting wet

Blows around in the wind

It's making me upset

Being bald wasn't bad

Must've been under a spell

And now I’m gonna burn in Hell

Now I’m gonna burn in Hell!

Made a bad deal with the Devil

But I didn't know the score

If I knew I'd be goin' to Hell

I woulda asked for more

I coulda been a whole lot taller

Coulda been a gigolo

Why did I accept so little?

I'm starting to worry!

Should I start to worry?

Made a deal with the Devil

I wish it wasn't true

Cause I was bald as a melon

And now I don't know what to do

He said all that he wanted was

My soul when life was through

I never needed my soul before

I'm starting to worry!

Now's the time to worry!

Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh

A deal's a deal, you can't back out

Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh

You understood what this was about

Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh

Your soul is mine, there's no turning back

Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh

By the way... hair burns... imagine that! Hahahaha!

Made a deal with the Devil

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Music: Text

Only the Hairy Go to Heaven

I feel so sad and lonely

Redemption may never be found

While I can see the sky above me

I can’t see beyond the clouds

And so I’ve come to wonderin'

If someone's watching way up there

Would I be closer to Heaven

If I had a full head of hair?

Heaven knows I’m waiting for a sign

But maybe I’m just wasting my time

It's a sad thought and it would be a crime

If only the hairy go to Heaven

The light from my head might obscure me

From being seen from high above

It may be easy to overlook me

And that’s what I’m afraid of

Heaven knows I’m waiting for a sign

But maybe I’m just wasting my time

It's a sad thought and it would be a crime

If only the hairy go to Heaven

I feel so sad and lonely

Redemption may never be found

While I can see the sky above me

I can’t see beyond the clouds

And so I’ve come to wonderin'

If someone's watching way up there

Would I be closer to Heaven

If I had a full head of hair?

Would I be closer to Heaven

If I had a full head of hair?

Back to Song List

Music: Text

Me and My Cap

Me and my cap

We’re very close, so very close

Me and my cap

Cause no one knows, no, no one knows

The secret hidden there

Is that my head is totally bare

And that is why I always wear

My lovely knitted cap

Every morning I don my chapeau

I have a nice selection for anywhere I go - oh

I never tip my cap

Cause that would give it all away

One look and that is that

Everyone would point and say

Your life has been a lie

And it's so sad you had to try

Try so hard to hide

Under that little cap

It's me and my cap each and every day

Keeps me in the game at work or play - ay

My little Cap

Best bud that there's ever been

Me and my cap

Been together through thick now thin

He is my closest friend

And I know that I can depend

To help conceal what's all too real

Under that little cap

I pray to the gods each and every day

The wind doesn't blow my best friend away - ay

Me and my cap

We’re very close, so very close

Me and my cap

Cause no one knows, no, no one knows

The secret hidden there

Is that my head is totally bare

And that is why I always wear

My lovely little cap

My lovely knitted cap

I love... my little cap

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Music: Text

Lament of the Crabby Bald Man

People call me mean

Maybe you’d be mean as well

If all your hair was gone

And you were bald as Hell

I once was a nice young man

When I had flowing locks

Now I’m just a crabby bald guy

Who’s lost his boyish looks

He’s just a crabby old bald man

Who lost his boyish looks

He’s just a crabby old bald man

Who lost his boyish looks

I used to get the girls

They’d run their fingers through my hair

Now I just get scowls

And jokes about my head so bare

So, maybe you can see

Why I’ve become so mean

So don’t try to mess with me

Or you’ll be very very sorry

Now I’m just a crabby bald guy

Who’s lost his boyish looks

He’s just a crabby old bald man

Who lost his boyish looks

He’s just a crabby old bald man

Who lost his boyish looks

People say I’m mean

And that perhaps I’ve lost my mind

Just because I yelled at the woman

In front of me in the grocery line

But she had to pay by check

It’s two thousand twenty four

The line was very long

I was right and she was wrong

People say I’m mean

Just because I told the waiter

To send my cold soup back

Because I wanted it to be hotter

If I was a handsome man with hair

No one would complain

But because I’m old and bald

They all say I’m mean and I’m insane

He’s just a crabby old bald man

Who lost his boyish looks

He’s just a crabby old bald man

Who lost his boyish looks

He’s just a crabby old bald man

Who lost his boyish looks

He’s just a crabby old bald man

Who lost all of his looks

No I’m Not!

Ahh, screw all of you!

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Music: Text

Baldville, USA

Baldville USA

A hair razing adventure took place in these parts

With barbers all lined up, their razors shootin' sparks

And every man and woman came out that faithful day

Cause they were very proud to live in Baldville USA

Baldville USA, Baldville USA